Real Time Blogging- July 23, 2012- 6 years of Annelise

Another year, another anniversary, another day without our girl. This year has been the easiest yet. The meltdowns are few and far between and at some point I figured out my testimony and how it came from Annelise and the experience.  A huge positive in the midst of a not so happy moment. While July is still not my favorite time of year this year it was not overtaken by my usual funk. It's been full of celebrating. Life, the kidlets, their sweet friendships and mine. It has been good to us.

After attending a women's conference at our church I was given a prophetic message, and well, it had everything to do with using your experiences with your gifts to share your story. It turns out its not a funny joke that women are compelled to share their stories with me. That I somehow end up being a sounding board for others grief, loss, struggles is part of my bigger picture. I never understood before. I just thought I had "one of those faces" where people thought telling me their life in the checkout line at wal-mart was a good idea.

That's where my story turns into my testimony and I can honestly say " I totally know where you are at. Here is my story of how I lost my sweet girl but found an amazing God. A God who is good even among our struggles and a God who I choose to worship in the darkest times because He is the light I crave. 

It doesn't undo the pain i feel at the loss of Annelise. It does however bring me joy to know without her I wouldn't be who I am today.

It gives me joy to be able to know I have a voice and a story to help others. A pathway started by my girl and her Father.

We speak openly about Annelise and her story. Pierce is still a little young but Bella gets it. She knows her sisters testimony and how she changed who we are today. She also knows Annelise is watching over us all and helping keep us safe. Our very own angel. 

When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You. In God, whose word I praise, In God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid. What  can mere man  do to me? Psalm 56:3-4

An Angel Never Dies

Don't let them say I wasn't born,

That something stopped my heart

I felt each tender squeeze you gave,

I've loved you from the start.

Although my body you can't hold,

It doesn't mean I'm gone,

This world was worthy, not of me,

God chose that I move on.

I know the pain that drowns your soul,

What you are forced to face.

You have my word, I'll fill your arms,

Someday we will embrace.

You'll hear that it was "meant to be,

God doesn't make mistakes,"

But that won't soften your worst blow,

Or make your heart not ache.

I'm watching over all you do,

Another child you'll bear,

Believe me when I say to you,

That I am always there.

There will come a time, I promise you,

When you will hold my hand,

Stroke my face and kiss my lips,

And then you'll understand.

Although I've never breathed your air,

Or gazed into your eyes

That doesn't mean I never "was"

An angel never dies.

 

We will always love you,

Mom, Dad, Bella Grace, Pierce and Knox

Thank you for watching over our precious family on earth.

07.23.2011: Life's a cake walk

 Today is Annelise's day and for the first time in 5 years it wasn't marred by sadness. It's not that we didn't think of our girl but really the first time we spent the day celebrating the 2 little lives we do get to share. So today we partied like rock stars...or miniature rock stars who have to have a nap midday:)

The first party of the day was sweet Sophia! She is so fun and a good calm to Bella's tornado:) She's silly and sweet and her parents share a lot of our same values. It wasn't too long ago Naoma ( Sophia's mom) and I learned that our hubby's were having lunch semi- regularly...too funny. I'm just glad to have sweet friends for the whole family!

 My gorgeous girl:) I love these little rompers...they're easy and fun! Bella isn't such a fan until she decided it makes her look like a mermaid:) 

 

 

 

 

 Look at how HAPPY baby Harper is:) We love her ever though she's not a baby anymore!

 Piercey got to hold Baby Sable and there aren't words to describe this kids face...he was so happy and proud. Such a sweet boy! I hope he can be a big brother one day soon!

After Sophia's bash we headed home for naps then back to Southlake for Angelo's 4th birthday!

 

 Milestone Moment: Piercey can now climb and go down these slides by himself. I kid you not this is HUGE because it means I do not have to drag him up vertical ladders to slide over and over again! YAY!

 

 

and he went up and down pretty much the entire 1 1/2hours!

I'm so glad we decided to not avoid today. I miss my girl terribly but we had so much fun with our 2 crazies got to hold a sweet baby  and see our friends! It was a great day!

Remembering Annelise 5 years later

Sweet Annelise,

I wish I could say I knew where the last 5 years have gone. Lord knows they haven't been all rainbows and sunshine. What I do know is not one day in the last 1,825 since I held you for the first and last time have I not thought about you. This is the first year in all those days life seems to be moving on. We've passed through the valley of grief and are on the upswing, yet still, your memory is such a presence. Time has in fact made losing you easier but it hasn't made letting you go possible. You're my girl sweet Annelise and our angel. Over the last 5 years we've talked openly about losing you and how hard that was. We've spoken to individuals and groups and our story, the story of you, remains consistent. You changed us. Our faith has never been stronger and our light has never been so bright. Without your sweet face in pictures we wouldn't be who we are. We wouldn't have Bella Grace or Pierce, so for those gifts we are eternally grateful for you and your short life. This year is hard mainly because right about now I'd be getting you ready for kindergarten and preparing myself for the time to let you go. So perhaps the 5 year mark is a bit apropos. I only know for certain that no matter how many years pass my yearning for what was to be will never go away. So while i make unbelievable memories with your siblings know that I miss you every day.  You are our light Annelise. That turning point in our marriage and our values and the change we needed to be good parents to Bella and Pierce. 

I recently heard this song from one of my favorite groups, Addison Road. It reminds me of our journey. The Journey from Hope to Grace + a Sweet P and all the life in between.  You're our little Light and you shine small in our daily lives but big in our hearts. We choose to remember you today with a candle as an outward sign of our love for you. But we choose to honor you daily by living a life with no regrets. Of overcoming the overwhelming grief we've been dealt the last 5 years with an outlook of love and hope.

Not a day goes by I do not thank God for allowing me to be your mom. My heart aches everyday that we didn't get more time together but in the end I know I will hold you again. Until that day I will remember you and I will love you always.

We love you Annelise Hope.

Always and Forever,

Mom & Dad

A letter to Lauren...

Today, January 22, 2010, we had lunch with my family. A lunch that was fun and nonchalant including our talk of cancer and future and life. Unfortunately, the discussion my sister and I were sharing so lightheartedly wasn't taken so lightheartedly by everyone else, namely my Lauren.

So while this letter is to you Lauren, it's also to everyone else who just doesn't get why we can be so nonchalant about it all and it's not something I can say to you without getting emotional and we all know I'm much better writing than I am coming up with the right words to say.

Lauren,

I know we upset you today and I am sorry. I wish there was something we could do to get you to a point of understanding but it doesn't just happen easily. It requires some life altering moment where you just know it will be okay because you've given up control.

The reason your mom and I can talk so freely and unemotionally about it all is because, sadly, we've had our moments. I can't talk about hers because while I think it happened this past year I don't know for sure. It is her moment to share but to give you some understanding I can share mine.
Growing up I always believed if you did the right things, acted the right way, behaved as you should you could control your life. That if I did things the way I "should" I would have this almost perfect life. Go to college, fall in love, get married with a beautiful wedding where my dad walked me down the aisle, have a big house, travel, have a family.
As you know most of these things, with hard work, have come true. Nothing has come easy but it's always been okay. There are a few BIG moments in my life I will always remember, Pop walking me down the aisle and feeling so unbelievably beautiful in his eyes, crossing the stage as I graduated from TWU, the day Bella Grace and Pierce were born, but it was none of those moments that taught me I wasn't in control.
You know we were raised in church. I *thought* i was a believer. I had been saved and baptized but I didn't get it until my moment.

The day Annelise entered our world.

That day Lauren, was my moment. It was the day I figured out that I didn't control anything. That no matter what I did, how hard I planned, how much I worked that I didn't have control.

I know you have heard of God's big plan for each of us. I always knew it but it wasn't until Annelise I believed it.

I worked for that sweet girl, we were educated, married, had a house and savings. We did everything we thought to do but what we didn't do was give it to God. To know it was in His hands, that He knew all along I wasn't going to hold her.

It was late at night, Rick was driving like a madman from Houston and I was being forced into labor by some horrific drugs. I was exhausted and just done with crying. I had retreated into my self curled into the fetal position and Grandma was there with me but I forbid her to call anyone because I didn't want pity and didn't want to deal with it. I was sad and angry and I HATED everyone who got to have a baby at that moment. It was not a place I'm proud of but I was so mad I worked so hard to have this "perfect" life and have it taken away so quickly.

My moment happened sometime after they gave me the drugs that make you numb. I didn't feel anything physically or emotionally at that point and I was all out of tears. It was dark in the hospital room and I was the only one awake. I had fallen asleep just me grandma but I woke up to poppy, your mom, Grandma and Rick all sleeping on pullout beds and chairs in a freezing cold room.

That was my moment. The moment I realized I had a choice.

I laid in that hospital bed dilated and ready to push out my sleeping girl but before I could do that, I got right with God, in a freezing cold room filled with the people I loved most. The people I instinctively pushed away, the people I forbid to come but came anyway, our family.

That was my moment and I made the right choice for me.

I realized right then it didn't matter what my plans for life were it wasn't up to me. I could choose to live a bitter existence where I was always robbed of my first born or I could choose a life where I let God be in control.

I prayed so hard my face hurt from scrunching my eyes closed. I prayed to God for peace and understanding, letting go of my pain and giving Him the glory for letting me get to carry Annelise for as long as did. He did that, He gave me a chance to hold my sweet girl. He was always in control.

Then I called the nurse, Robin, and told her I was ready. I screamed and cried as I pushed out my tiny girl even though I didn't feel a thing. I needed to scream and get that last rush of bitterness out before I could move on.

From that day on I wake up every day and choose to let God be in control.

Bad things happen to good people all the time Lauren.

People lose their babies. They suffer through infertility. They endure 18 months of laid off living. They deal with alcoholism. They go through divorce. They get diagnosed with cancer.

Bad things happen to good people all the time.

Yet, God is good.

We are so blessed to have an awesome God who is in control. He gave his only Son, a dude who didn't sin but still he died for us because we do. Seriously, how cool is that?

Not many people would DIE for our sins. God, He is one good dude.

The problem is we live in a fallen world (go ahead blame Eve and the apple). We live in a place where bad things happen but as long as you believe God is good, that He is in control of our big plans, then you can smile and choose to be nonchalant about it all.

Your mom and I are in that place, we've had our big moments in life where we realized we had to let go and just go with God. Be still and let God. ( Psalm 46:10) but I don't believe either of us wants you to hurt about our nonchalance. Sweet girl your mom will be okay but its a God thing. AND she will fight but as long as its His will she isn't in control, He is, and he's got her big picture already figured out. It does no good to worry or doubt because we have no control, its all the big guy upstairs.

Remember, it wasn't long ago I was in your place. The kid who had a cancer stricken parent. I remember thinking Poppy and Grandma were total nut jobs. They weren't as open with me so I believed everyday was the last (clearly not true or even rational but I was 14 and believed the world revolved around my every whim). I also remember wondering when they were going to get their act together and figure out if today was the day or not. Like you, I like knowing, I need answers and not to wonder if its years or days or months, I needed a solid expiration date. Unlike you I never believed Poppy would survive. I planned my future wedding with Grandma walking me down the aisle and no father daughter dance.

I know you are worried and upset, you have every right to be. However, our world does in fact revolve around you, Alayna and Garrison. As the big people, the adult people, in your world we worry for you. There will be days where it will be bad, cancers not an opponent to go down without a fight, but here's the thing...we're already fighting. We have people, total strangers, who have lifted your mom and our family in so much prayer she is blanketed in Gods unwavering grace and healing. She is a true believer in Gods will and control in her life. Plus she has the added bonus of the stubborn gene.

I know you are scared and it's okay. One day you'll have your moment and realize we weren't nuts after all. That our nonchalance comes from His grace and you'll get it.

Until then, know you are so unbelievably loved. That it's okay to be mad and upset and scared. It's also okay to be happy and to laugh so hard you cry. That all those emotions are okay.

I told you Monday that I wished I could tell you we lived in a world where if you did the right thing it would all go your way but I need to amend that. Lauren, if you do the God thing it WILL go the RIGHT way. It might not go the way you wanted or planned but it went the way He wanted and planned.
He's got the knack for knowing what you need before you need it.
I love you Lauren Elise. I am sorry we upset you today but know it isn't because we don't care or aren't scared and feeling some of the things you feel right now. We just know that with God in control, a loving supportive family and lots of prayer warriors on our side we will be okay.

Cancer sucks but we've beaten it before and we'll do it again.

Love you sister,
Jenny

Psalm 13^a]">[a]

For the director of music. A psalm of David.

¹ How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
² How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?

³ Look on me and answer, LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
⁴ and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

⁵ But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
⁶ I will sing the LORD’s praise,
for he has been good to me.

It's my birthday andmy old egg blues.

This day rolls around every year and it always creeps up on me. If you know me in real life you know I'm just not a birthday girl. I like your birthday and my kids birthdays but I just don't care about mine exactly.
I'm not sure if it stems from some underlying insecurities; like no one will remember and I really am invisible because there are days I certainly feel that way and I don't want to be embarrassed because you forgot my day and I figured it mattered in your world, that I matter in your world when clearly I don't...

So even though I really have the most fabulous friends I am still that teenage girl whose birthday always fell on homecoming every year and was secondary to tiaras and dances and parades and pancake breakfasts. Yeah...i totally just went there. I guess it is ingrained...ehh. Or if its because with 2 small kids my birthday isn't special day for them, just another day for mommy to clean and cook and wipe away tears.

So its my birthday. Another day and another year older. Since I'm a good 4 years younger than the majority of my besties it isn't the age I fret over. I've always been the youngest so that doesn't bother me at all and now that they are all heading closer to 35 my 28 seems like something to keep to myself.:)

I'm pretty sure I don't like my birthday because its a constant reminder of Annelise and all the stupid testing and the fact my eggs are another year older and fewer. Ehh. I mean being told I have 'old' eggs didn't seem so bad when I was 24 but with each passing year the eggs get more shriveled and there are less of them and I always manage to remember today, my birthday. At this rate i'm set to hit menopause at 40...that's only 12 years of eggs and with wrinkles already they'll be prunes by the time we get around to using them again. Prunes I tell you. I have nightmares of my old shriveled eggs sitting around a coffee pot, of decaf no less, discussing botox and fiber with each other wondering why the wasted their best years on birth control and fear of "it only takes one time".

I'm 28 and my eggs are 40.

And then I think even if I wanted to I couldn't handle another baby right now. So we have eggs wasting monthly because we'd be crazy to bring another child into the world when we are so unsettled. So then I feel guilty and sad that even though I don't need or want another baby right now I might now have one in the future because we've already decided we wouldn't do the fertility route again (except for the specific drugs I need to maintain a pregnancy). I mean we wont do clomid or IVF or any of that...we've got 2 perfect babies so it just isn't for us at this point in our life.

But then I have old eggs so without the aid of medicine I might not get the big family I've dreamed of if we wait another 3 years. Sigh. By then my eggs will be 43 and I do not know anyone who had a baby with 43 year old eggs.

The old egg thing is only magnified by the fact my sweet girl insists Santa is bringing her two tiny baby sisters for Christmas, in fact she told a lady in Wal-Mart that today. I had to stand and shake my head vigorously behind her so the lady wouldn't ask when I was due. Because I so did not want to go there.

So another birthday another year older. I have big plans for today, now that I've gotten my old egg blues out of the way. Bel is going to dance class with her friend Hayden Claire, which I am probably more excited about then she is. Then we are having a mommy/Lulu date for cupcakes, a long nap and dinner with friends. It will be a glorious day and just my style. In the moment with my girl, my boy and my sweet friends. Another day in the world but it will be my day. Living the moment, old eggs and all, breathing and smiling and taking it all in.
Smells of freshly washed baby hair and sticky little hands holding my face to give the drooliest kiss a girl could imagine. Pink tutus and tonka trucks snacks of ants on a log and banana wheels and cake. A birthday is not complete without cake. There will be lip-gloss and our fancy shoes and a morning of just me and my girl. Nap time snuggles with my chubby little man and lingering kisses from my handsome prince ...it will be a glorious everyday kind of day and I will relish it because it is my day.

Thanks Mom for having me this day 28 years ago. You are my hero and I love you more than you can imagine.

Remembering Annelise 4 years later...

Sweet Annelise Hope,
Today is your day Nana. Today is the day we allow ourselves to feel what life is really like without you here. While it has gotten easier with time you are still so very missed. What I can't believe is how I still remember every tiny detail of the day you changed our lives. Your sweet dimpled cheeks, petite hands and wonky toes. You were tiny 3lbs 5oz and 15 inches long. You were mine and suddenly you were gone. I remember holding you for hours that passed so fast the day quickly turned to night. You my sweet tiny girl will never be a memory but always a part of our world. You are present and thought of often. We love you and that will never change, no matter how much time can ease the pain.

An Angel Never Dies

Don't let them say I wasn't born,
That something stopped my heart
I felt each tender squeeze you gave,
I've loved you from the start.

Although my body you can't hold,
It doesn't mean I'm gone,
This world was worthy, not of me,
God chose that I move on.

I know the pain that drowns your soul,
What you are forced to face.
You have my word, I'll fill your arms,
Someday we will embrace.

You'll hear that it was "meant to be,
God doesn't make mistakes,"
But that won't soften your worst blow,
Or make your heart not ache.

I'm watching over all you do,
Another child you'll bear,
Believe me when I say to you,
That I am always there.
There will come a time, I promise you,
When you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face and kiss my lips,
And then you'll understand.

Although I've never breathed your air,
Or gazed into your eyes
That doesn't mean I never "was"
An angel never dies.



Thank you my sweet girl. Thank you for you, thank you for the hope to know our dreams will come true, thank you for the courage to keep on living, and thank you for the faith to know this is the way it was all meant to be.

But most of all thank you for watching over Bella and Pierce.

We love you now and always.

When the world says, "Give up," Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."~Author Unknown

A new kind of Funk

And so another July has rolled around and this year it is equally as funky. I know it's hard to believe but I do actually hate the month of July. Hate it. Mostly because this incredible funk fills my soul to a place of sheer darkness and also because if it could happen it does.

Case in point...

Our washer went out....the week P had the stomach flu...making me, my sick baby, his crazy sister and every crib sheet we own tote ourselves in the 100 degree heat to the laundry mat. Ugh.

Simon got thrown in doggy jail where they threatened to 'humanly euthanize" him ( insert ugly cry because it couldn't have been pretty. I've already written an apology to the poor animal control man who was the brunt of that)....yeah we wont even go there it was ugly. So to get him back we had to go through many a hoop, he had to prove he is in fact to stupid to be vicious and in the mean time rack up $$$ in fines. Double Ugh.

and the cherry on the proverbial sundae that calls itself July....

Our big freezer went out. Yummy.

Actually, the breaker got tripped sometime during Master P's pirate bash and we didn't smell it until this week...again yummy. Let's just say 50lbs of rotten meat, veggies, fruit and ice cream does not smell good after thawing in 100 degree heat. I'm all out of Ughs now.

So I hate July.

But it really isn't the broken washer, stomach flu, horrible neighbor woman or rotten meat that make July so awful.

Nope, it is the loss that seeps through my pores. The sadness. The fact I miss her. I miss what might have been even after all these years.

Simply, I just miss her.

And now it is also the guilt.

Because I shouldn't miss something I've never known. I have two amazingly awesome well-adjusted kidlets ( in spite of the fact their parents are nuts) yet still July comes and so does my funk. Only now it is funk + guilt which is way worse.

I will say this year my funk has situated itself squarely in July did not creep in the earlier months like years past. So maybe time will heal these wounds. A girl can hope.

Or maybe I'll just resign July to the month of pure hell and plan around it next year. I'm trying to figure out how to skip it all together but I just can't manage an 11 month calender:)

So I'm in a funk and surrounded by the most amazingly wonderful people who have drawn me out of my house to make me 'normal', who've offered to take the kids so I can be funky in peace, who year after year help me remember my girl and help me not feel so alone.

My funk is still a sad place and I'm sure next week will be no different than years past, only this year when we light ouR candle for Annelise we'll be in a place of a peaceful funk and possibly Chuck-E-Cheese because honestly...

We have two amazingly awesome well-adjusted kids in spite of the fact they drew the crazy parent straw and they'd like to go there. And because if she were here...she'd want to go there too.

So bring on August...and on Friday July 23rd I'll be at Chuck-E-Cheese with my babies, remembering Annelise and celebrating a peaceful but funky place because honestly peaceful funk is a vast improvement over previous years and any improvement is one I'm grateful for.

Much love my sweet Annelise...

A look back...

A lot has changed for me in the last ten years! A lot of growing up, a miracle or two, a boy. I could say I am glad for it to end but honestly the last 10 years have been the best in terms of, my growth, so I am grateful. Now some highlights:

I met Rick in 2001, a mere 19 years old, and somewhere along the way we fell in love...

We spent 2002 commuting back and forth because we lived 2 hours apart.

In 2003 we bit the bullet and moved in together noting the LOUD objections from others. Despite the discord it worked for us and we knew what we had to do to move forward...we also did a lot of wake boarding and spent most every weekend on the lake, we took a trip to Boston to visit my family, bought a car or two together and had entirely too much fun!

In 2004 we headed to San Diego to celebrate our beautiful niece turning 1...we returned an engaged couple and married later that year.

We also built our first house and completed the sale 2 weeks before our wedding. For the record we spent our wedding night painting our bedroom:)
In 2005 we started trying for a family and after a loss we were happy to have each other and Gus...
We added Lola for Ricks birthday that year and found out soon after we were pregnant again...

In 2006 we met our angel Annelise and that day I became a mother...

We added Simon to complete our furry family not too long after that and then there was another loss. So I hightailed it to work in the corporate world because we both needed a 'baby' break.

2007 was the year of this blog, even though it started in 2006 it became a part of life in 2007. We started fertility testing/drugs and were highly motivated to make it happen pretty quick after we totaled all the $. In March we were pregnant again ...

and Bella Grace arrived making me a mommy...
and us a family.

2008 was the inception of Bellabowz. After a month or so of getting stopped by people about Bella's bows a business began and has since taken over our world!

It was also the year of the cupcake... we celebrated everything she did because she was our miracle baby. Every milestone she accomplished was a glimpse at what God had done for us.
It was a year of learning and pure joy. We enjoyed being new parents so much we decided to do it again and celebrate the miracle of a new baby all over again. In August we headed back to the doctor and got back on the medicines to prepare for a new baby. We very naively thought it would take a few months but in September we welcomed the news of a baby on the way!
The joy of the new baby was muddled by what we were told was to be the loss of Pop.

but God intervened again and Pop is a walking miracle. God is SO SO good and not a month after this picture was taken...
He helped us celebrate Bella's first birthday!

2009 has been the year of the whale! Our life has been all about shamu! Bella has loved him and we've been 3 different times to visit. We also got the privilege to watch our baby turn into a bonafide kid. She learned to openly express her opinions and ideas and I am LOVING having full blown conversations with the tiny cupcake princess. The beginning of 2009 was slow and tired.
We lost a dear friend Edward to a long battle with cancer and are forever changed by him and his love.
We spent a lot of time sick{Bella} and pregnant{me}! Life got more energy 6/08/2009

with the arrival of Master P:)

and the completion of our family!

Pierce Stephen is such a joy and living proof of what a miracle a new baby is. We've spent the last year as a family just being together and enjoying watching our babies grow.


The last decade has been peppered with loss and struggles. Loss of babies, loss of jobs, loss of people we love and a few friendships along the way. Through all the bad we've held onto each other and God and have come out on top.

We are absolutely excited about 2010 and the changes God is making in our lives. We cannot wait to see what adventures come our way!

From our family to yours we wish you a Blessed New Year filled with lots of laughter, peace, love and a few miracles of your own!

New Amusement Park in Town:)

We started Thursday with waffles...
although very rarely do they get eaten by anyone other than the ducks. Then we headed to

Little Gym where Bella practiced her spiderBella skills:) She really thinks she can climb walls.


Then she channeled her inner monkey and did some swinging!

Then time for a rest and bubbles with Milla.


So after LG we headed home for lunch and a quick nap before we headed to Mrs. Heathers for a fun play date.
They like to 'nuggle' together:) So Sweet!

Then we headed to our play date and left Master P and daddy home to do 'man things'. Did you know Mrs. Heather's house is like an amusement park? Not only is it ALWAYS more fun to play with someone else's toys but at her house they keep appearing out of nowhere!( or perhaps the barn)

First we went swimming and Bella found these goggles she refused to take off...
and when that got old we ate fudgesickles. When that wasn't enough they blew up the bounce house...
and then they brought out the 'arctic cat' which is a super fast ride on toy. Bella started on it with Alex who is a mature 5 and ended her ride too quickly for pictures. Then there was the other ride on toys and even a soccer goal. Tons of fun!!

Then snacks and not just any snacks but cheetos...

Yummy!
Wait mom I'm not supposed to wipe my cheeto hands on my shirt? You are kidding me?

Then all the kids were having so much fun we stayed to eat pizza! 2 5 year old boys, an almost 4 year old girl, 3 2 year old boys and Bella! It was crazy fun!!

Thanks Heather, Anderson & Alex for having us over! It was super fun!!

After playing hard for a few hours Bella was beat!! She asked for 'nite nite' and after a quick bath and more snuggles with P she went to bed without a whimper:)
Look at my tired girl...it was tough keeping up with all those boys!


and so we had a quiet evening together with P. And after his bath he sported his first pair of big boy jammies:) My sweet stud muffin is getting so big!
no more newborn gowns! He fits into 0-3 now:)

It was a busy day and so nice to have some quiet time at the end to think about Annelise and watch her candle burn.

I feel so blessed to have so many people also care about our girl. We had a wonderful day together and with friends. I can't imagine spending it any other way!